Msfililocalola has been caught buying video views off of ebay
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190405810289
$2 for 1000 views? is that even worth it? Apparently this seller has sold over 250 of these thousand-view types of things (and I'm sure there are more people out there selling these) so it makes you wonder what other partners are using this to raise their view count, eh?
Whatever, I believe Msfililocalola lost her adsense, anyway, this was probably why ;)
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«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 600 of 4835 Newer› Newest»does nat think the blog will be sued and shut down or something? she thinks because her work is copyrighted she has all these rights and can take everyone down. it's not that serious. the most that will happen is camille might get a cease and desist letter telling her she has however many days to take down the comment that has parts of fatnat's novel. that will really show us!
the novel is titled UNUSUAL YOU ffs. that;s not even original. there's a britney spears song called that. she thinks her novel will be a best seller or something. she'll sell a few hundred copies, MAX. her minions might buy a few, but thats it.
You'd think a "writer" would know the copyright laws http://yfrog.com/jdflycj
nat, stfu. you clearly dont know the copyright laws either. until yesterday you thought it was COPYWRITE.
im so sick of her self-righteous attitude.
lol, why is she acting like she has authority and power? didn't this bitch delete her comment and then run to her mother to come and talk to us? super intimidating, nat. we're scurred.
Bitch thinks she wrote To Kill a Mockingbird.
nat needs to calm down. she's looking like a big immature retard. she isnt helping her cause. she's probably more pissed at the blow to her ego (everyone saying her writing sucked) than the fact that her book leaked.
can we stop talking about fatnat? i seriously cant stand that obese swine. her attitude is disgusting. she's so uppity and self-rightous, thinking she's perfect and absolutely the best at everything. when in reality, she's immature and wishes she was still 16.
kalel doesn't share a room with andrea. kalel moved into andrea's old room. thats not andreas room anymore.
how did nat even find out her novel was posted here? another guru who cant stop refreshing??
1:54 lulz, i was about to comment about that! fatbagel didn't even know how to SPELL the damn word yesterday!
kalel said in that video that theyre sharing the room.
fatnat was here the second it was posted lulz i didn't even know she still read the blog. guess so!
LOL did any of you fucks actually go look at her posted prologue? This is her little author's note before it:
Getting used to an author's writing style is an acquired taste, much like beer and wine. I have been told I am a very poetic writer, I really like to show you what I'm seeing with my detailed descriptions, without overwhelming your senses.
LOLOLOLOLOL
Someone link me to this bitch's youtube, I've never heard of her before.
i hate how nat thinks she's a legit writer now that she's written one shitty 200 page novel. and of those 200 pages 150 seem to be just adjectives
"she's probably more pissed at the blow to her ego (everyone saying her writing sucked) than the fact that her book leaked."
that's exactly it. i'm sure if we had been saying positive things about her one paragraph (lol, yaright), she'd probably care less that it was posted here. but nope, this is all because we thought her writing sucked. end of.
Hey, why was my comment removed?
Fat Nat a Mod now?
A blog was written about Nat a while a back and she threated to put her "legal" team on the case. She said it was a legal team through her work, and at the time she was a teacher...
So all I can imagine is fatNat going into work, crying that someone bashed her makeup skills and asking he principal or something to set the legal team into action. LMFAO.
Not to mention, its hardly illegal to post SAMPLES from a book. Its not like anyone here wants to read 900 pages of your twi-tard wannabe fanfiction FattyNatty. Sho showwy.
anyone with an account can delete their comments
It's the spam filter bb :\ I don't think theres a way to turn it off. It keeps randomly eating comments.
2:17 #1 did you have that really long one? it most likely went into the spam folder
"I could hear the fear in my breathing - jagged and sporadic. My lungs screamed for oxygen, and my muscles fought back as I encountered cramps in succession throughout my legs. My brain was wailing in pain, trying to plea bargain with my heart; begging for my legs to stop running, if only for a moment. However, my heart refused this task because I was searching - in the barren darkness of the underground tunnels - for him." copyright natneage @ blogspot
LOL this is terrible.
omg, she needs to get off her pedestal. this isn't "deathly hallows" that was leaked here. it was just another generic vampire romance novel, no?
lol @ nat having to warn people that her writing is shitty because she's a ~poetic writer who describes what she's seeing~
The way she overcomplicates her writing and uses thoo many unnecessary descriptive words makes me think shes trying to compensate for or distract attention away from a shitty plot
This is legitimately from Chapter One.
"Lingering at the stoplight by Gate One of the Navy Base, I distractedly watched the other vehicles synchronized movements as they maneuvered throughout the streets - similar to the behavior of bees. Turning down my radio at the sight of a scornful old lady‟s scowl, I listened instead to the orchestra of various engines perform their springtime ballads as some cars passed while others waited around me for their turn."
Her plan was to stick as many adjectives as possible into each and every sentence. Even if it's redundant and doesn't make sense. She tries way too hard.
FatalieNatlaie just needs to realize that she is in her 30s, not 16. She isn't young, preppy, or fresh faced like the girls she sees at work every day. I bet when she was a teacher she thought she was "the cool teacher" because she's could SOOoOOoOooo relate to her students ridiculous tastes in music and book.
If her book gets published its going to be because she funded it. If anyone buys it its because she'll shove it down her subscribers throats. Thats it.
"I HAD A DREAM AND I JUST FELT COMPELLED TO WRITE!!!" ... oh how original Nat, you're a real literary genius :)
P.S. Twilight started from a dream :|
"To my right, my ears caught the deep, feral purr of a car that had me picturing the Rat Fink character. Turning my head to see the beast behind the cacophony of vibrating pistons and gears, the light changed giving me a better view of the muscle car and its driver. Rounding the corner, my breath caught in my throat as I appraised the handsome stranger returning my gaze. Slowly driving past me, I held his stare with an uncanny interest, absorbing the details of his bronzed skin and dark hair. Due to the orchestrated musical masterpiece, our eyes shared the other for just a few seconds before he had to refocus his attention on the road. Asphyxiated by the interloper's intrigue for me, I found myself allured to his anonymity and fought the burning sensation filling my chest as I remembered how to breathe. Flushed, I watched him head east, thinking of what I would do if I followed him. Maybe the new me did unconventional acts like this, I thought slightly excited. It wasn't until the car behind me honked that I brought my attention back to the stop light. I drove the rest of the way to work allowing myself the luxury of pleasant daydreams involving me meeting this wanderer."
"I listened instead to the orchestra of various engines perform their springtime ballads as some cars passed while others waited around me for their turn"
LOLWUT
"shes trying to compensate for or distract attention away from a shitty plot"
lulz i agree, that's exactly what she did.
her writing is so try-hard. it isnt natural at all.
nat is literally trying to be the next stephanie meyer. sorry nat, that only happens once, and it doesnt happen when you force it. stephanie meyer said she dreamed one of the scene of twilight, and then wrote half the book and went back to write the beginning.
I can't stand authors that think describing the exact shade of a person's eyes for four paragraphs makes up for a SHITTASTIC plot.
If you have a legitimate piece of literature, you don't have to sprinkle your novel with visuals of buzzing bees and all that "grandeur".
lol im sorry but that is horrible you don't need to use big bad words to try and sound smart and thuper creative. Look at the berenstain bears and pretty little liars ...
"nat is literally trying to be the next stephanie meyer."
I agree, but the bitch could at least try to emulate an author with some talent.
This is the FBI. It is illegal to have copywrited material posted in this blog. Miss Natasha Neagle is very upset and called our office crying. Her mother also called us crying. The owner of this blog needs to removed the copywritten material immediately! Or suffer the consequences. I have given Natasha & Teresa my personal phone number for this matter.
her writing comes off as bad fan fiction
the cyberpolice are coming guise
"her writing comes off as bad fan fiction"
Her writing IS bad fan fiction, she just negated anyone's prior work of fiction and instead inserted her Marry-Sue characters and went crazy with her Microsoft Word thesaurus.
"her writing comes off as bad fan fiction"
Her writing IS bad fan fiction, she just negated anyone's prior work of fiction and instead inserted her Marry-Sue characters and went crazy with her Microsoft Word thesaurus.
lol this whole situation is hilariously pathetic
From the very few comments I've read with snippets of her writing, I can already tell her protagonist is a
Mary Sue.
ugh.
Just kidding, I read what that fat bitch wrote and I agree, its shit.
It's funny that when you leave a comment on here (FATNEAGLE), it has a spellchecker. Shouldn't a writer understand that oh hey my word "copywrite" had a red squiggly line under it - perhaps it's misspelled!? She's a dumb ass and her writing is atrocious.
lolololol
natty writes exactly like stephenie meyer. nat is just a twihard trying to emulate meyer and write her own fan fiction spin offs. but nat thinks she's super legit and a real professional writer. delusional.
it's not a specific style we have to get used to. the word choice is awkward, and the metaphors make no sense.
how long was nat working on that shitty novel? wasn't she working on that shit day and night? i can write a way better novel than that in no time. she must have spent most of her time flipping through a thesaurus.
No - I am still going to prosecute the people involved in distributing copywrited material. It is a shameful thing to do - she told me she thought she was going to be the next J. K. Rowling. Now look what you thieves have done!
if nat just wrote the story without filling it with descriptions and using every synonym she can come up with, the story would be like 10 pages long. and the story sucks.
FBI ^
lol while i'm reading this my mind is taking over and replacing her terrible adjectives with the words she should have used. that's never happened to me before lmao
There are some things that are okay to describe - but when you are talking about your character being scared, wouldn't you want to cut out the damn adjectives to make it go in a faster pace? So it seems like everything is going quickly, but still leading to something? WTF is this shit
"It's funny that when you leave a comment on here (FATNEAGLE), it has a spellchecker. Shouldn't a writer understand that oh hey my word "copywrite" had a red squiggly line under it - perhaps it's misspelled!? She's a dumb ass and her writing is atrocious."
thats only if you have firefox. idk about macs tho
It's putrid. Her writing is much like a high school Freshman that is just trying to meet the 1000 word limit on a crappy essay. It's so overblown with adjectives and synonyms that the reader gets lost in the minutiae of the composition of the paragraph. See? I can write like she does. (cont)
cont)
I read the dark stupidly written paragraph with my breath held in anticipation of a great novel. Much to my utter dismay and fear of retribution by the author I was shaking, afraid that Nat would SIT on me and crush the breath from my lungs in a way only a crap writer of crap really could.
"Oh No" I screamed, my breakfast threatening to revolt on me in absolute dejection and apprehension, don't subject my bloodshot bleary eyes to more... The End
I can just see FatNat now, typing furiously to the FBI:
DEAR DARK MYSTERIOUS EFFERVESCENT FBI MEN THAT WORK IN MASTERFUL UNISON,
A TERRIBLE ABHORRENT, HEINOUS, SHAMEFUL, SCANDALOUS, GRISLY CRIME AS OCCURRED! I KNOW YOU WILL WANT TO TAKE THE TIME AWAY FROM ANY AND ALL PENDING CASES OF INTERNET PIRACY, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, SMUGGLING OF DRUGS, AND WHATEVER YOU GUYS DO (idk I'm too busy ready shopping for MAC and writing shitty novels to pay attention) TO TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY!
A BLOG AS PUBLISHED AN *ENTIRE* PARAGRAPH FROM MY GLORIOUS, ASTONISHING, FACINATING, INCREDIBLE, MARVELOUS, PRODIGIOUS NOVEL UNUSUAL YOU.
YES, I KNOW, I AM UTTERLY, ABSOLUTELY, COMPLTELTLY, CONSUMMATELY, WHOLLY SHOCKED AS YOU ARE!!
PLEASE TAKE ACTION AGAINST THIS DO-BADDER AS SOON AS YOU CAN.
THANKS BBS.
FATALIE NATALIE
.... Riiight Nat. They'll get right on that.
2:39 ilu
^^ i lol'd hard
and nat thinks she's a one of a kind superior writer.
i lol;d hard at 2:39
I don't understand what fatbagel is trying to achieve - like anything you're trying to sell, she needs to have a clear target audience. Is she trying to sell her book to very young teenage girls? Because the way she has overcomplicated it makes it impossible for her target audience to read & understand..
Teenage girls are the only kind of audience that would be interested in buying some cheap twilight knockoff book. But you've completely alienated them with your "style" of writing (shit), fatasha.
'I want a red and yellow phoenix holding a burnt piece of parchment paper with the words "Mischief Managed" in the talons.' -natneagle
LOL ok
"thats only if you have firefox. idk about macs tho
September 24, 2010 2:38 PM"
& Google Chrome.
so many fucking unnecessary adjectives, it makes it harder to stay with the plot because it's too distracting. that was probably the point though, since the plot is complete shit and can't stand on its own.
To Nat
In regards to your copyright issues with this blog or any other stealing your crappy novel.
You put it out there and much like the Guru's that do makeup videos. Too freaking bad. You put it on the web so it's no longer considered yours, you moron!
If you can't take the criticism of this or any blog, how will you possibly make it when a literary agent or a book reviewer bashes it for the shit pile that it is?
Get over yourself and put the pen away.
You Suck!
LMFAO @ 2:39. Hot damn.
I wonder what Mr. FatNat thinks of his wife's writing hobby. I mean, any logical man would read that garbage, pat his wife on the head and say "Well, thats a good story. Maybe we'll box it up and let our daughter read it when you're dead to remember you by."
... Because I sure as hell wouldn't let my loved one publish that kind of garbage.
"cont)
I read the dark stupidly written paragraph with my breath held in anticipation of a great novel. Much to my utter dismay and fear of retribution by the author I was shaking, afraid that Nat would SIT on me and crush the breath from my lungs in a way only a crap writer of crap really could.
"Oh No" I screamed, my breakfast threatening to revolt on me in absolute dejection and apprehension, don't subject my bloodshot bleary eyes to more... The End"
LMAO FOREVER <3
@2:39. I love you right now
"Her writing is much like a high school Freshman that is just trying to meet the 1000 word limit on a crappy essay."
LOL THATS EXACTLY WHAT IT REMINDED ME OF
"
DEAR DARK MYSTERIOUS EFFERVESCENT FBI MEN THAT WORK IN MASTERFUL UNISON,
A TERRIBLE ABHORRENT, HEINOUS, SHAMEFUL, SCANDALOUS, GRISLY CRIME AS OCCURRED! I KNOW YOU WILL WANT TO TAKE THE TIME AWAY FROM ANY AND ALL PENDING CASES OF INTERNET PIRACY, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, SMUGGLING OF DRUGS, AND WHATEVER YOU GUYS DO (idk I'm too busy ready shopping for MAC and writing shitty novels to pay attention) TO TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY!
A BLOG AS PUBLISHED AN *ENTIRE* PARAGRAPH FROM MY GLORIOUS, ASTONISHING, FACINATING, INCREDIBLE, MARVELOUS, PRODIGIOUS NOVEL UNUSUAL YOU.
YES, I KNOW, I AM UTTERLY, ABSOLUTELY, COMPLTELTLY, CONSUMMATELY, WHOLLY SHOCKED AS YOU ARE!!
PLEASE TAKE ACTION AGAINST THIS DO-BADDER AS SOON AS YOU CAN.
THANKS BBS.
FATALIE NATALIE"
lulz
nat neglected her children for hours to write, draft and edit that crap
lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz
careful guise, she's gon get her mom on us again to teach us hooligans a lesson
I can't wait for Kai to put up her usual 10 videos today so we have something more interesting to talk about than FatNat.
Bitch boooores me to fucking death. She's a shitty writing, bad mom, constantly striving to be that skinny 16 year old that she dreamed to be in high school.
Yawn.
Bitch doesn't deserve the notoriety we give her just by mentioning her name.
2:46 #2 I AGREE COMPLETELY WITH EVERYTHING YOU MENTIONED!
britney spears needs to sue fatty natty for copyright infringement! "unusual you" is copyrighted!
We should write a Sequel to that piece of shit.
It's so bad I could use the pages to wipe my shitty ass after a good healthy Smash!
Nat:
This is the Literary World.
Oprah does NOT want you.
You book is not a book. It's Toilet Paper.
Step away from the computer.
Put the pen down.
Go eat dinner.
Your Family needs you... The book world does NOT!
Sincerely,
Dr. Suess
& the length of my novel is 318 pages not 200 #fyi and 100,780 words. I wish some of the ppl standing up for this chick would read her works
OMG EVERYWAN IT'S NOT 200 PAGES IT'S 318 AND IT'S 100,780 WORDS! 100,000 OF THOSE WORDS BEING ADJECTIVES!
Thanks @twitter for the block button. All the hate children are spewing at me - I'm glad u have it or I'd be closing this acct!
STFU! IT'S NOT CHILDREN HATING YOUR BOOK YOU FAT PIG. DELETE YOUR TWITTER, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF!
im having so much second hand embarrassment from natty. she needs to stop, for real. she's so delusional she doesnt realize what a moron she's coming off as.
I can guarantee you if someone had posted just as much of her shitnovel with a positive review, bitch wouldn't give a flying fuck.
Can't stand some constructive criticism, Fatalie?
I don't think we're being all that harsh on the crap piece, to be honest. It is what it is.
Dear Nat,
Don't Delete Your Twitter Account...
Delete the FAIL BOOK!
Signed,
Green Eggs and Ham
I WISH KAI WOULD WRITE A NOVEL. autobiography perhaps? now THAT would be something i would buy
that's exactly what's happening. ellen posted her book and everyone was praising it, nat wouldnt care. but since everyone is bashing it she's pissed and butthurt and thinks everyone is just a jealous child.
IF ellen*
WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRN IS BACK
http://www.youtube.com/user/CharlieBrown1812
I wish I could be Nat's life coach.
Step one: Delete youtube channel.
Step two: Delete twitter account.
Step three: Delete the entire folder that contains your shitty novel - when you lost half of it on a flash drive that was your first clue.
Step four: Just throw your computer away.
Step five: Sell all your makeup, it doesn't help.
Step six: Take money earned from said makeup and take your fucking kids to Disney Land and spend some god damn time with them that doesn't center around you just looking for an opportunity to twitter about how good of a mother you are(n't).
Six easy steps, FatNat.
I come here often. It's my guilty pleasure.
I rarely comment but Fat Nat just gets on my very last nerve.
Her juvenile "book" is her last pathetic attempt to be "cool"
Give Up Nat... You're not a writer and you are not cool.
Go shrink another t-shirt and eat a dick.
nat is retarded. she sent her book to ellen j bohn, someone who used to post here constantly. then she's shocked and appalled when ellen posts a paragraph here. and now she's ranting on twitter about how ellen isnt better than her and they published anything ellen submitted and blah blah. should have thought about that before nat, you dumb ass.
POST ON FATNAT NAO PLZ K THNX
Mess w/my makeup but not my novel
SHUT THE FUCK UP NAT YOUR NOVEL IS SHIT! jfc this whale is acting like she wrote a new gospel book for the bible that jesus himself came down to help her with
ILU 2:39 & 2:42 #1 IA completely!!
Just yonder, Fatasha was struggling to make her way through the swamp behind Teresa Neagle's place. Fatasha had severely hurt her shin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Kailyn Wilchers suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the unkn0wncritic. One by one they latched on to Fatasha. Already weakened from her injury, Fatasha yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Kailyn Wilchers running off with her unkn0wncritic.
When you think about it, Kai and Fatneagle have A LOT in common.
does she want us to be fake and tell her how great it was !!!
I HATE PPL LIKE HER WHO THINK THEY'RE SOO ABOVE EVERYONE and everything they do is perfect !!!
ughh get over urself and take care of your kids !!
But then God came down with His charismatic smile and restored Fatasha's unkn0wncritic. Feeling concerned, God smote the Kailyn Wilchers for their injustice. Then He got in His tricycle and darted away with the fortitude of 1.2 billion legless puppies running from a huge pack of long-haired sea monkeys. Fatasha tripped with joy when she saw this. Her unkn0wncritic was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in five minutes her favorite TV show, porn, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When long-haired sea monkeys meet rusty razor blade'). Fatasha was thrilled. And so, everyone except Teresa Neagle and a few bloody glove-toting man-eating capybaras lived blissfully happy, forever after.
ISNT MY STORY GREAT EVERYWAN
^ LMAO
all this writing reminds me,
remember the kai and juss erotica? lol i wish i copied those comments!
This bitch is NOT 23
http://www.youtube.com/user/aebeidler
Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Teresa Neagle was interrupted by five abrasive Kailyn Wilchers that were lured by her unkn0wncritic. Teresa Neagle turned red; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling concerned, she fearlessly reached for her wolverine and thoughtfully poked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Baconator rolling up. It was Fatasha.
LULZZ i'm using a random story generator and even that generated shit is better than fatashas writing!
how does kai think she can be a makeup artist if she can't even figure out how to use a damn eyelash curler? KAI. IT IS NOT THAT DIFFICULT.
all started when our hyphen-happy protagonist, kailyn, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the seventh time it had happened. Feeling barely worried, kailyn punched a ninja star, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, she realized that her beloved diary was missing! Immediately she called her bed-friend, davit. kailyn had known davit for (plus or minus) 2,000 years, the majority of which were sassy ones. davit was unique. He was easygoing though sometimes a little... selfish. kailyn called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
davit picked up to a very ecstatic kailyn. davit calmly assured her that most disease-carrying chipmunks panic before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually flamboyantly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting kailyn. Why was davit trying to distract kailyn? Because he had snuck out from kailyn's with the diary only eleven days prior. It was a saucy little diary... how could he resist?
haha lamoo random story generator
"Mess w/my makeup but not my novel"
Did she really say that? Oh, SMDH. So basically, "No one criticize my novel, EVER!" Good luck in this industry, bb. They're going to chew you (and your novel) up and spit you out. Now's the time to grow a thick skin, when a bunch of anons critique your work (giving it to your friends to critique won't cut it). Welcome to the real world! <3
“Please come by again sometime Carrington,” Drina said once we were in front of Tuesdai. “My grandmother would love to meet you. I know she would. Please be careful and heed my warning- there are forces acting against you not of this world.” Tuesdai and I thanked Drina for her time and the two of us turned to leave.
I went in expecting nothing and came out fearing the unknown. Nothing had changed, except I knew now that my love for Rykeir was real, I was different in a freakish kind of way, and I was definitely going to die.
Much to my surprise, but to my liking, Tuesdai held the questions I could see dancing around in her head as we drove back to Rykeir's in silence. If how I looked correlated to how I felt, I had to be an awful transparent shade of white with a green tinge that suggested I might throw up.
The silence eating away at the very fabric of my deceit, I started talking and told Tuesdai everything before I realized what I was doing. Sitting in the driveway to Rykeir's, Tuesdai just sat there listening, her face expressionless as I went on and on about everything that I had experienced over the past 48 hours.
----
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT, FATASHA?!
but to my liking, Tuesdai held the questions
Tuesdai held the questions
TUESDAI
TUESDAI?!
All of these little excerpts remind me so much of Twilight. Epic fail.
It all started when our (former porn) star, Kailyn, woke up in a swamp. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling scarcely worried, Kailyn grabbed a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Just as zero people expected she realized that her beloved hard candy makeup was missing! Immediately she called her so-called best friend, Davit. Kailyn had known Davit for (plus or minus) 2,000 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Davit was unique. He was attractive though sometimes a little... oafish. Kailyn called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Davit picked up to a very unhappy Kailyn. Davit calmly assured her that most long-haired sea monkeys panic before mating, yet venomous koalas usually charismatically cringe *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Kailyn. Why was Davit trying to distract Kailyn? Because he had snuck out from Kailyn's with the hard candy makeup only eight days prior. It was a enchanting little hard candy makeup... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Kailyn got back to the subject at hand: her hard candy makeup. Davit cringed. Relunctantly, Davit invited her over, assuring her they'd find the hard candy makeup. Kailyn grabbed her refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Davit realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the hard candy makeup and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Kailyn took the nappy, busted-out hatchback, he had take at least nine minutes before Kailyn would get there. But if she took the Mama Wilcher's Car? Then Davit would be scarcely screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Davit was interrupted by eight pestering Bellas that were lured by his hard candy makeup. Davit shuddered; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he fearlessly reached for his live hand grenade and fearlessly deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the bush, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Mama Wilcher's Car rolling up. It was Kailyn.
----o0o----
As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of gerbils, so she knew she was running late. With a heroic leap, Kailyn was out of the Mama Wilcher's Car and went flamboyantly jaunting toward Davit's front door. Meanwhile inside, Davit was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the hard candy makeup into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his elephant. Davit was stunned but at least the hard candy makeup was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Davit wildly purred. With a careful push, Kailyn opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some abrasive rationality-deprived retard in a curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala),' she lied. 'It's fine,' Davit assured her. Kailyn took a seat right next to where Davit had hidden the hard candy makeup. Davit belched trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Kailyn was distracted. A few freaknasty minutes later, Davit noticed a dimwitted look on Kailyn's face. Kailyn slowly opened her mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Davit felt a stabbing pain in his taint when Kailyn asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the hard candy makeup right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Kailyn's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's wolverines from when she used to have pet venomous koalas. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Kailyn nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Davit could react, Kailyn fearlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The hard candy makeup was plainly in view.
Kailyn stared at Davit for what what must've been nine hours. Before anyone could take off their pants, Davit groped charismatically in Kailyn's direction, clearly desperate. Kailyn grabbed the hard candy makeup and bolted for the door. It was locked. Davit let out a curious chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Kailyn,' he rebuked. Davit always had been a little pestering, so Kailyn knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Davit did something crazy, like... start chucking ripened avocados at him or something. As if it really mattered she gripped her hard candy makeup tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Davit looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Kailyn. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame six days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Kailyn. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Davit walked over to the window and looked down. Kailyn was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Kailyn was struggling to make her way through the disease-infested jungle behind Davit's place. Kailyn had severely hurt her kidney during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Bellas suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the hard candy makeup. One by one they latched on to Kailyn. Already weakened from her injury, Kailyn yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Bellas running off with her hard candy makeup.
About seven hours later, Kailyn awoke, her ear throbbing. It was dark and Kailyn did not know where she was. Deep in the uninhabited secret vineyard, Kailyn was really lost. As if it really mattered she remembered that her hard candy makeup was taken by the Bellas. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a little Bella emerged from the imaginery desert. It was the alpha Bella. Kailyn opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the Bella sunk its teeth into Kailyn's double chin. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Kailyn's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.
Less than ten miles away, Davit was entombed by anguish over the loss of the hard candy makeup. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened live hand grenade. With a deft thrust, he buried it deeply into his love handle. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Kailyn... wishing he had found the courage to tell her that he loved her. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the hard candy makeup that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Bellas, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
LOLz!!1
I wonder how much it would piss off fatbagel if we started editing her work (i.e. take out all the unnecessary adjectives) so it actually started to sound good, if that's even possible.
It's possible, I've done it to the prologue.
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Good luck suing the blog when if has this disclaimer fatnat ;)
"It's possible, I've done it to the prologue. "
can you post what u have done bb :)
natashaneagle @vorvolaka lol no I think I gained like 5 lbs :(
she meant 50.
natashaneagle This chick is just plain ignorant. Calling me fat doesn't hurt me. Got angry at my writing bc its not crap & requires a vocab knowledge
LOL IS SHE FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!
it just requires ~vocab knowledge~ you guise!!
*a knowledge of vocab
fucking idiot, please tell me she had an outside editor.
I think Nat is what Kailyn will become. Obese, ugly, thinking she's gawgeus and a thuper makeup artist (instead of writer in fatnats case) Kai won't pay attention to her kids and will live in a tiny, shitty apartment but she will have lots of makeup. It's a shame.
Hey fatty, stop refreshing this blog and giving it hits and go do something w/ your kids. Help with homework maybe?
THAT IS EXACTLY WHY NAT IS SO UNBEARABLE! SHE THINKS SHE'S PERFECT!
"Got angry at my writing bc its not crap & requires a vocab knowledge"
IT IS CRAP AND USING A BUNCH OF ADJECTIVES DOES NOT REQUIRE ~VOCAB KNOWLEDGE~! SHE WILL NEVER ACCEPT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE'S ALREADY PERFECT.
LOL "vocab knowledge" Be honest, you just pulled up the thesaurus when you were writing. As someone said above, your typical vampire-fucking novel enthusiast (teenagers) won't know some of the words used in her stupid novel, and certainly wouldn't have the patience to have to pull out the dictionary every paragraph. She definitely doesn't know her audience.
i cant stand nat's attitude. she acts like she's so wise and mature and talks down to everyone. meanwhile she's trying desperately to be 16 again, shoving her obese body into XS printed tees and thinks her haters are just jealous children!
LOL SHE USED THE WORD "SMEXY" IN HER BOOK!?!?!?!?!
Looking up to meet my gaze with her own striking honey colored eyes, she beamed a perfectly whitened smile at my approach. The combination of her new shortened hair and immaculate bone structure worked together to compliment her golden fawn skin tone.
“You cut your hair!” I squeeled as Naomi hung up.
“Yes, you like?” She ran a hand over her new hair as she spoke.
“Girl you know you're looking smexy,” I said acting a bit over animated for Nae's benefit. After rooming with her since our first year at SCU, I knew how her mind worked. She was gorgeous, but liked to hear praise when she put an effort into her appearance.
GURL, YOU KNO YOU'RE LOOKIN SMEXY~
nat is a fan fiction writer. the end. no one is going to publish that novel. she might as well submit it to a fan fiction website, at least her hard work wont go to waste.
nae? tuesdai?
UGH.
i hate this original, unique~ name bullshit that "authors" pull.
I can't believe she's serious. It takes her over two paragraphs just to describe the fucking TRAFFIC! Don't act pretentious because you sat there pulling words from your thesuarus. God this bitch is delusional.
Obese, self absorbed, pretentious, delusional, potbellied, photoshopped ass, butterball bitch. Was that descriptive enough for you?
LOL FOREVER @ TUESDAI!
this bitch can not be serious
lol is kristin really sharing a room with andrea?
i cant stand her videos so i unsubbed but is that true?
what? two grown women sharing a bedroom??? ok then she must be making bank off youtube like she said to have to share a bedroom.
thats so weird. but if its true then honestly i think kristins hidden motivation is she wants to become a part of the station so she is trying to force herself in it.
I wonder if it was nat who started the swine flu. You know, being a pig and all. :)
More importantly, Liam had his arm around her, his usually pale-freckled face flushed with excitement. Tuesdai, seeing my interest, raised her highly arched black eyebrow and smiled a devilish loaded grin that read, I'll fill you in later!
“So, since I'm guessing Tuesdai is acting DD tonight what is everyone drinking because I'm buying.”
“Yep I'm driving,” Tuesdai said holding up her keys. “Jimmy drove too though since my car is small. I just wish you could chillax with us and shit.”
I couldn't help but smile at Tuesdai's eccentric and colorful vocabulary. Barely five feet without her heels on, her personality far exceeded her height. Another one of the waitresses here at Hoppers, she was so different from anyone I'd ever known. Her parents adopted her from the Philippines when she was 18 months old and since she arrived on a Tuesday, she became immediately named such.
I surveyed my friends with my work smile. I knew none of them could turn down free drinks. With everyone's order, I turned towards the bar, my curiosity on the story behind the Liam-Anna coupling peaking. Right on cue as if Tuesdai could hear my thoughts, she jumped up and volunteered to help me, giving me a chance to find out all the details.
its tuesdai oh noes its fridai
This novel is starting to sound like what fatbagel wishes her life was like.
I just wish you could chillax with us and shit.
classic middle aged woman trying to write like a teen.
if you can't get into the mindset of your audience, this is the result.
I just wish you could chillax with us and shit.
the fuck? is she trying to be hip? no one says shit like that.
check this out guise
http://fatashaneaglesfail.webs.com/
Nat, you need to chillax and shit! You know you're looking smexy!
^lmao
omg there's a discussion forum too! XD
i skimmed the chapter, doesnt it feel really rushed to anyone else? shes already seen edward cullen and its only the first chapter?! its like shes just jumping into the middle of the story without any prior development
lmao where can i read this lulzy "novel" of hers?
^^
some of it's here
http://fatashaneaglesfail.webs.com/
I am in the middle of putting it all up on that site I linked above. So far only prologue and Chapter One, the formatting isn't sticking, sorry guise, so it's taking longer.
^ ellen j bohn is that you??
SMOKIN A JOINT, JUS CHILLAXIN AND SHIT
I never disliked Nat. I still don't. I don't know enough about her, and the only video of hers I've seen was her commentary on the Rodarte controversy, and I agreed with her points there.
She really needs to get her story peer-edited by other writers, preferably published or with accolades of some sort, so that they can critique her work professionally because it is bad. Its poorly-constructed plot relies way too heavily on adjectives. It's amateurish. And maybe if someone aside from "haters" were to criticize her work, she'd see this.
where has kai been today? i bet she didnt upload any videos because for once the discussion isnt about her, it's on fatnat!
"With all of the changes going on in my life already - the biggest one being my graduation from college with a degree in Criminal Justice"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX_onl-DM4c
lawl isnt this the book the qvc sisters are whoring out?
Tonight I wore the baseball uniform; it was white and blue in a repetitive pinstriped pattern similar to the New York Yankees. The shorts were pretty tight and closer to daisy-dukes than real shorts, but I could thank my love of the elliptical for being able to wear them with pride.
OH LAWD
Unusual You = a fan fiction about what nat wishes her life was
"but I could thank my love of the elliptical for being able to wear them with pride."
Yup. Mary Sue.
A Mary Sue (sometimes just Sue), in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader. Perhaps the single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly. The author may seem to push how exceptional and wonderful the "Mary Sue" character is on his or her audience, sometimes leading the audience to dislike or even resent the character fairly quickly; such a character could be described as an "author's pet".
"I parked my black Volvo S40 in the back by the kitchen door"
lol Does she drive that model? Is this her?
agreed. the more i read this, the more it becomes obvious. the main character is a fantasy of what she wishes she was. come on now, criminal justice degree and wearing daisy dukes? bitch photoshops her ass and comes here acting like she's a lawyer. this is embarrassing.
4:49 I don't think so, most authors live vicariously through their characters.
Well, most shitty authors.
"and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader."
Exactly.
" bitch photoshops her ass and comes here acting like she's a lawyer."
LOL SHOW ME SHOOPED ASS PICS!
You would think she would pick something other than a damn Volvo! We all know Edward drives one!
http://i54.tinypic.com/2qm22ip.jpg
notice the blur next to her ass in the bottom right picture lmao. she deleted her twitter after she got called out on it.
LOL LOL LOL would it not have been easier to just make herself fatter in the original pics? No one would have questioned that shit :P
Yeah I sincerely doubt her ass deflated that much.
http://i40.tinypic.com/15yvlp2.jpg
U NO UR LOOKING SMEXY NAT!
lmao oh yeah, there's definite blurring in certain areas.
what the fuck camille or whoever i wrote a really fucking fantastically funny pulwitzer award winning comment. it posted and just now its not showing up
I was tempted to show my aunt (who has a bachelor's in literature) Fatalie's expert for an unbiased, educated analysis but I opted not to because A) I love my aunt and don't want her to have to waste her time on shut shit and B) we already know its complete shit and don't need a college degree to tell us as much.
Why on earth would someone get the belly button pierced when their stomach looks like that... let alone post a picture of it online.
Gag. I feel sorry for the piercer.
PS: Stop pushing your fat in Nat, you're going to break your wrist.
Theres a spam filter on this blog now. It randomly deletes comments, even if you keep posting it again and again. You have to rephrase the comment slightly.
spam filter? Thats just bullshit. That comment I posted was up there with my blair in the mirror song, mr bun buns suicide story and kais disgarded makeup eating fetus named "Wan" story
now im pissed
fatlardbageleatingeagle, you are lucky the spam filter caught my comment post. It literally would mentally have torn you a new one
^lmao
http://i40.tinypic.com/6g69.jpg
bigger version
im pissed my comment isnt showing up but i forgive camille because i would love to ride her ragged
THE ONLY OTHER PLACE IVE SEEN THIS SHIT IS IN CIRCUS AND FUN FAIR MIRRORS
http://i40.tinypic.com/6g69.jpg
Aren't you a little too fat to ride ponies Camille?
http://www.youtube.com/user/Camilley88#p/u/6/FYCjf7ahs6I
That poor animal looks like its in pain... and your "skills" suck by the way.
never seen this guru but he is fucking good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX_onl-DM4c
"She didn‟t even speak, she just started kissing him.” She laughed as she told me of Anna‟s unusual assertive behavior. “I thought for a second they were gonna fuck like rabbits right there in your living room.”
"it was white and blue in a repetitive pinstriped pattern similar to the New York Yankees."
DX
Ugghhh. What's so wrong with, "it was white and blue pinstriped" or "it had white and blue pin-striping"?
5:33 #1 shut up fat nat. you're 100 times fatter than camille.
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l99bwpl9z11qdhmifo1_500.jpg
i can see why
gossmakeupartist
is not as popular as other makeup gurus because hes not a girl. But this guy knows his stuff. ive only just discovered his channel 5 mins ago but fuck is this guy good. He knows his shit and talks through it really well. he seems to care about make up. makes a fucking change from all the money hungry gurus
Nats writing goes to show that college degrees and training or writing workshops dont always make for good writing when your a pretentious wannabe desperate to appeal to twilight fans instead of just being genuine and creative.
Not fat nat. Your comment = FAIL
GOSSMAKEUPARTIST KNOWS HE BE LOOKIN SMEXY~
lololol
is he gay or bi?
seriouslyy what does ffs mean??? anyone
LOL HER WRITING SOUNDS LIKE BAD FANFICTION.
Justin gazed into JC's light brown caramel-like eyes, "JC I don't want to see you out that door, hi hi hi". JC leaned into Justin, opening his lips like a anus opening to poop. The two Nsyncers, both still dressed in matching feathered yellow jumpsuits similar to big bird, began to kiss on the stage, shocking everyone except for Lance, who is trying to hide his massively erect 18" cock.
it means fat fucks sausaging
ffs = for fucks sake
i know this is a bitch blog, but if camille could do a post on GOSSMAKEUPARTIST, it would be a step in the right direction for so called gurus to aspire to this type of professionalism
"Justin gazed into JC's light brown caramel-like eyes, "JC I don't want to see you out that door, hi hi hi". JC leaned into Justin, opening his lips like a anus opening to poop. The two Nsyncers, both still dressed in matching feathered yellow jumpsuits similar to big bird, began to kiss on the stage, shocking everyone except for Lance, who is trying to hide his massively erect 18" cock."
I CAME
LMAO
the people commenting with mock stories are better writers than fattynatty
http://i55.tinypic.com/33u38es.jpg
18 inch cock? WHAT THE FUCK? SERIOUSLY? THAT SHIT WOULD COME UP TO HER FUCKING THROAT
HAS SHE HAD SEX WITH DONKEYS? AND I MEAN THE ANIMAL KIND. WHATS NEXT? BEING FINGERED BY AN ELEPHANT?
i miss kai ='[
Are you this goss person?
i really doubt goss has the time to troll this blog, honestly. not to mention it's the middle of the night in england right now.
@5:59
no, just really amazed by the knowledge and honesty of this guys work. seriously take a look. this guy cuts out all the bullshit. its almost weird when we're used to seeing gurus who are in it just for themselves
he did a negative review on the bobbi brown book that elle and blair are pushing. i think that's why he's being talked about today.
Hmm whatever seems interesting but he has no place on this blog
@6:04
exactly
gossmakeupartist is the anti-kai
This is a place of agrravation and venting! We come here and argue and bitch and complain! When we start praising and hi fiving gurus our foundations will crumble and we'll all be happy and giddy inside! How dare you suggest we praise a gahroo
@6:08
haha okay.
i can smell ellen j bonjovi from here where is that smelly disgusting bitch? on the same planet?
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